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THIS IS WAR: TERRORIZER’S TOP 50 ROCK STARS OF 2011!
Our friends at Kerrang Magazine have been teasing us all week with news of their GREATEST ROCKSTARS IN THE WORLD TODAY issue. As it turns out, we knew only two people on their cover, and one of them was from Green Day. So, while we wait for K! to land on our desks so we can devour and abuse their list, here’s one we made ourselves, just for you!
TERRORIZER’S ROCKIN’ TOP 50:
50. SLUTTI 666 (IMPALED NAZARENE)
Let’s kick things off with a controversial frontman from Finland. With a perverse love of goats and an album banned in Germany, Mika Lutinen was the original black metal rock star.
49. JARI MÄENPÄÄ (WINTERSUN)
The Axl Rose of extremity – this guitar maestro, who played in folksters Ensiferum before starting his own widdly project, is producing his own ‘Chinese Democracy’ by taking forever to release the follow-up to the stunning debut album.
48. ABBATH (IMMORTAL)
The Immortal mainman is a former Tez coverstar and one of the most recognisable faces in the history of extreme music. Well, at least when he’s painted up.
47. ALEXI LAIHO (CHILDREN OF BODOM)
They told him to stop drinking, he told them that “he doesn’t give a flying fuck, motherfucker” – oh Alexi, you are so rock n roll.
46. STEPHEN O’MALLEY (SUNN O)))/AETHENOR)
The best rockstars are always multi-talented and this cowled dude has a mean way with a HB pencil just as much as he does a guitar. He’s also a mean drunk and has a brilliant beard.
45. ZEL KAUTE (PETTYBONE)
We had to give a nod to a few new bands in this list that are making us have faith in the future of music. If you’ve never seen this tempest set alight to her cymbals without missing a beat then you need to check out punk rockers Pettybone on their next tour!
44. ICE DALE (ENSLAVED)
Rock stars were made to be immortalised in posters on young teenage girl’s walls around the world. The boys want to be them and the girls want to do very naughty things to them. Is Ice Dale the new Slash?
43. HORNPER (IN SOLITUDE)
Of all the new singers we’ve seen in the past few years, HornPer from Swedish occult rockers In Solitude is the most intense frontman of them all. A rock god in the making!
42. DORIS YEH (CHTHONIC)
“If they shout ‘show us your tits’, I shout back ‘show me your dick first’!” the tiny, wee Taiwanese black metal bassist told us. You fucking go girl – you tell em!
41. HONOR TITUS (CEREBRAL BALLZY)
Puking onstage, skateboarding, getting arrested, listening to Negative Approach and generally not giving a shit about what you think, the frontman of rising punk tyrants Cerebral Ballzy is fast-approaching rockstar status.
40. HOEST (TAAKE)
Daft stunts involving chest art, prison time and a consistently dark and scourging catalogue of Norse black metal ire, not to mention a well-documented love of 80s pop, this misfit is absolutely rock n christ-bashing roll.
39. KERRY KING (SLAYER)
An icon of metal itself, few guitarists in history are as instantly recognisible (and, quite frankly, scary-looking) as the Kingmeister. We also heard he likes a big of Jack Daniel’s…
38. DEVIN TOWNSEND
The maniacal genius is a true icon of our time, and has also produced some of the best albums of the last ten years.
37. KING DIAMOND
The one, the only, the icon. The King. He’s currently recovering from serious heart surgery, but we have no doubt that he’ll be back on stage and kicking ass very, very soon. Get well soon, King!
36. PROSCRIPTOR MCGOVERN (ABSU)
This thaumaturgical genius might not be the first one you’d think of when considering the modern rock star, but then you’re not our Editor and haven’t just had to deal with him to arrange a photoshoot. He’s a bonafide diva, but it’s worth it as he’s a musical god.
35. SHAGRATH (DIMMU BORGIR)
He rules Dimmu with an iron fist, but he’s always had just a smidgen of the theatrical about him – and besides, those new white coats the band wear are totally pimp.
34. SL (THE DEVIL’S BLOOD)
Axeman for one of the most exciting new extreme bands, he’s been blamed for pigeon mutilation at a Norwegian festival and accused of refusing to leave the stage at Hellfest and instead launching into sprawling blues jams. Don’t fuck with the Devil. We did warn you.
33. HENRY ROLLINS
We don’t care if he does spend more time gobbing off than making good tunes these days. It’s Henry fucking Rollins!
32. BRENT HINDS (MASTODON)
He looks like a beast, plays like a beast and has a beard that’d put BigFoot to shame. He’s also quite a nice boy really, but on stage, he is a behemoth and nothing else.
31. WARLORD (TURISAS)
He’s Mat to his mum, but when the red paint comes on and the Mad Max leathers come out of the shed, he is a warrior ready for battle.
30. JAMES HETFIELD (METALLICA)
It’s James Hetfield. ‘Nuff said.
29. JOEL GRIND (TOXIC HOLOCAUST)
Frontman and creative daddy for one of the US’ premier blackened thrashers, you can see Joel kick out the jams with two other frontmen on this list when they tour the UK this November. See if you can spot them…
28. LIZ BUCKINGHAM (ELECTRIC WIZARD)
As well as riffing the crap out her guitar in the mighty Electric Wizard, Liz has also swung the axe for mighty US sludge band 13 and Sourvein.
27. ALICE COOPER
The Coop remains the consummate showman, even managing to get Hollywood broseph Johnny Depp onstage for a jam at his recent 100 Club show in Oxford Street. Nicely done, Alice.
26. GREG PUCIATO (THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN)
One of the greatest frontmen around? No doubt. Greg’s presence onstage just cannot be ignored, and judging by the size of those biceps, we wouldn’t mess with him either.
25. TONY IOMMI (BLACK SABBATH)
What Tony does next after the passing of Ronnie James Dio remains to be seen, but if 2009’s immense Heaven And Hell album ‘The Devil You Know’ is anything to go by, he still ha plenty of fire left in those metal fingertips of his.
24. ROB HALFORD (JUDAS PRIEST)
Alright, so Rob’s vocals aren’t quite what they were, but you watch him come out on that motorbike and tell us that he’s not still one of the most rock ‘n’ roll motherfuckers going.
23. RYAN MCKENNEY (TRAP THEM)
Ever seen Trap Them live? This guy is a maniac! In fact, you’ll be lucky to see him actually go on the stage, as he tends to spend most of his time on the balcony, in the audience and anywhere else that he can climb.
22. JOEY JORDISON (SLIPKNOT)
It’s not very rockstar to admit you prefer to be alone and have to be cajouled out of your apartment on New Year’s Eve by a mate, but then he does have a drum kit that goes upside down. UPSIDE DOWN!
21. LADY STARLIGHT (ROCK ‘N’ ROLL DJ)
How many DJs do you know that can roll with Lady Gaga and Jay Z in Hollywood and then nip over to England to play a NWOBHM night in a small club in Dalston? As one Terrorizer reader suggested upon seeing her Angel Witch backpatch, “Girl knows what’s up!”
20. GHAAL (WARDRUNA)
The ex-Gorgoroth frontman is one of the most frightening vocalists EVER, on and off stage. Now he’s more concerned with traditional folk combo Wardruna, painting, fine wine and theatre daaaarling. Now that’s rock n roll.
19. LAURA PLEASANTS (KYLESA)
As one of the few women on this Top 50 she can drink you under the table and play better guitar than most of the dudes flanked beside her on this list. Laura is made up of whiskey, cigarettes, weed and riffs and will probably fight you to boot.
18. FENRIZ (DARKTHRONE)
He could probably demand a ridiculous figure to do a Darkthrone concert, but he’s even too rock n roll for that. He’s such a rock star that London hosts an annual festival, curated BY him, and he won’t even bother showing up. He can also make or break your band with one click of a mouse.
17. OZZY OSBOURNE
Week after week, year after year, The Ozzman continues to entertain like no other. He still busts out those all-important Sabbath classics as well, which make him just that little bit more awesome.
16. PAPA EMERITUS (GHOST)
The man’s identity remains a complete mystery, and yet his ability to cast a spell over even the most cynical of followers remains untouched. Plus, we think that wavey hand thing he does is pretty cool.
15. THE DRAKE BROTHERS (EVILE)
Matt and Ol not only form the creative nucleus for the best new thrash band to emerge in a decade – they’re also pretty nice chaps!
14. ROB ZOMBIE
Packing what might be the greatest heavy metal show on Earth (with apologies to Maiden, Rammstein, GWAR and Watain), Rob blew the arse off of the UK when he made his long-long-long-long awaited return earlier this year.
13. ODERUS (GWAR)
He’s gross, he’s ugly and he’s offensive. We love our Oderus, and we can only hope that he’ll live forever. Him and that big cock of his.
12. NIKLAS KVAFORTH (SHINING)
He died, then came back, then donned our cover with his pal E from Watain and insisted on taking photos of him doing coke (fake, of course). He’s controversial and we love him all the more for it.
11. BRUCE DICKINSON
Approaching 50 and still with all the energy of a baby greyhound, our Bruce is still one of the greatest frontmen in the world. See him nail ‘The Talisman’ on their current tour for proof of that.
10. PINK EYE (FUCKED UP)
He just begs to be cuddled, but don’t get too close to this bear of a frontman, he’s also likely to rip your throat open – mind you, there’s a sensitive chappy underneath all that punk rock swagger.
9. SATYR (SATYRICON)
That icy stare, that lack of humour, that oh-so-black leather jacket, that sense of grandeur, those Serengeti shades and brilliant onstage postering – Satyr is rock star incarnate.
8. TOM G WARRIOR (TRIPTYKON)
Maybe the most understated man on the list; Tom G commands respect, admiration and, most of the time, pure, unabated awe.
7. PHIL ANSELMO (DOWN)
He was in one of the biggest modern metal bands EVER and still has time to give mad props to new blood like Ghost and In Solitude – and we heard that he listens to ALL the demos given to him by eager fans. That’s inspirational rockstardom right there! Plus he co-wrote ‘Fucking Hostile’ – banger!
6. ERLEND HJELVIK (KVELERTAK)
He’s just a teeny bit plumper than the average rock ‘n’ roll bear, but hot damn can Erlend rip a stage to shreds. You’ll mostly find him on the stage, under the stage, in the crowd, on the crowd, but always, always with his top off. Rock on, brother.
5. ANGELA GOSSOW (ARCH ENEMY)
The queen diva of death metal has more swagger than Cher Lloyd on smack and a voice that can melt wallpaper clean off. Plus, she’s packing one of the tightest and solid melodeath bands around. Easy.
4. LEMMY (MOTORHEAD)
The guy is facing his 70s and could still drink the bar dry, smoke you out of the park and then fuck your girlfriend for a laugh. Still and always the standard to which we must aim.
3. DAVE VINCENT (MORBID ANGEL)
The guy looks more rock ‘n’ roll than ever and continues to do exactly what he wants, how he wants it – see controversial latest ‘Angel opus ‘Illud Divinum Insanus’ for proof.
2. NERGAL (BEHEMOTH)
Not only does the guy look fucking monstrous onstage, but he gave cancer the middle-finger and is already looking forward to getting back on tour and into the studio. Nergie Nerg, we salute you!
1. ERIK DANIELSSON (WATAIN)
Obviously, our two-time coverstar HAD to be at number one. Amazing showman? Check. Controversial? Check. Demands fresh animal blood on his rider? Check. Bezzy pals with the dark one? Check. Knows how to set a crowd alight? Check (literally). That’ll do, E. That’ll do.