Are Semargl the worst band ever to slap on corpsepaint?

By on 28 November 2011

Are Ukrainian pop/black metallers Semargl the worst thing you’ve heard since ‘Cold Lake’?

We know how the internet loves to hate on Dimmu Borgir and Cradle Of Filth, but we’re standing well back after showing you this lot – they make ‘Death Cult Armageddon’ sound like ‘The Codex Necro’. They even describe themselves as “Satanic pop metal”, which sounds like the worst thing in history. Those fine chaps at Thrash Hits brought this particularly horrific load of dreadful shite to our attention, and for that we both thank them and will be charging them for the therapy to get this particular atrocity out of our minds.

Not only is the music fucking awful, mixing keyboards that are the arse-end of predictable, vacuous widdle with copy-and-paste generic shouting that adds nothing to the atmosphere, but the video is the kind of objectifying tripe that we’d expect from a piss-poor wrestle metal band that aspires to rank stupidity. Women’s fight to be taken seriously in the metal world appears to have been set back 20 years. And worryingly, there’s an uncensored version.

Are we overreacting, or is this the kind of musical horror that should be used to terrify future generations? Are we missing someone even worse than this arse-gravy? Let us know below.

About Miranda Yardley

I'm Miranda. Bite me.

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